This testimonial is received from Helena from Ireland*.

My name is Helena and I am Irish. I am a college lecturer and I am married with two sons, both under three years. When the siege ended the media sent endless images around the world, which upset and shocked me, but nothing more so than the video image of the hostages inside the school. Although I have not contacted Georgiy Farniev, or his family, the image of that scared little boy shook me to the core and his image haunted me day and night. Privately I wept almost continuously. The Wednesday following the siege I was sitting on a bench outside the college library, waiting for my colleague. We were to go to a student restaurant "The Gallery" to formally welcome new students. There was a newspaper on the bench. I read it as I waited for my colleague. There on the front page were stills from the terrorists’ video and Georgiy was on the page. In despair at how much the siege tormented me I decided to read the whole article to try to get over it but that didn't happen. My colleague arrived, I put down the paper and we walked into the Gallery restaurant.

The Gallery restaurant is two floors high. It’s a large open plan room with windows all around. It was full of students. I picked up a glass of wine and when I turned around all of the students had sat on the floor. I stared at my friend and whispered "I have to get out of here...can't explain..." I ran out in tears. When my colleague caught up with me I told her that it looked like the gym. That evening driving home I pulled off the road and I cried and sobbed so loudly and uncontrollably, like never before. The pain in my heart was too much. I had to do something. Georgiy is alive and very well but I was utterly tormented about the crises. I thought I was losing my mind.

Initially I tried tosee if families could come to Ireland for a holiday. Ireland has a strong tradition with bringing children from Chernobyl so I was going along those lines.

There have been many operations for Azamat

That didn't work out. I was looking at the teachers website with the hospital lists and decided that I would pick somebody and help them. My eyes were drawn to an age '2'. I looked at the name. It was little Azamat Mukagov.

I don't speak Russian so my Russian colleague, Inna, made the first phone call. She rang the school. When she got off the phone she said. "They are so nice but the man I spoke to sounds like a dead man, they are in the middle of funerals." With that she started to cry. The school put us in touch with the hospital in Moscow. The hospital gave us Azamat's parents mobile numbers and I am amazed at their efficiency.

The first call to Azamat's father was difficult. We didn't know what to expect. You are leaving your media-informed two-dimensional world and going 'inside'. Azamat’s father was very nice and told us how Azamat was.

However, neither parent has ever spoke about the hostage crisis itself, which I expect, and respect. I have 'spoken' to them about seven times, mostly to the father. Sometimes when things are difficult I hope my call does not bother him, sometimes he is angry about the situation. Other times things are looking ok and Inna can be on the phone for a while. I have even emailed them in appalling Russian. I used Free Translation.

Azamat is alive and he will recover, slowly. However they face challenges that I can't imagine. Someday, I hope, my sons and Azamat will play together. I have told them of my vision.

I have sent Azamat boxes of toys, nice clothes and sweets, which can only be bought in Ireland. I have done this three times. The second box got to him the day after one of his operations and they told me it really cheered him up! In my first box I sent a candle to the family. I lit the candle in my own kitchen and extinguished it, before posting it. I said in my letter:

”I am sending you a candle. I have lit it already here. Please accept it as a symbol of the love and concern people all over the world have for you. When you light it look upon it as a sign that there are people in this world who have the capacity to love others no matter who, where, or what they are.”

"Believe me that Azamat is one of the most beautiful children you could imagine."

The family has written to me and has sent four photographs. Believe me when I say that Azamat is one of the most beautiful children you could imagine. He has a head of massive brown curls upon curls. Big brown eyes and the sweetest black eyelashes. He has a lovely smile. He wears a lot of reds, browns and greens and loves to play with cameras and phones. He had no signs of life when he was taken from the school. A doctor called Sulliman Indiev brought him to life in a field hospital. Both Azamat’s parents, I believe, were outside the school. He was brought that day with his child minded and her granddaughter. I do not know if they survived, I am afraid to ask.

They have not had it easy. There have been many operations, and because they are intestinal little Azamat cannot eat what he likes. For a long period recently he had to be fed through a tube. He has had some setbacks but is a fighter. The family remains in Moscow.

I have established a relationship with this family. They are strong, kind, gracious and intelligent people. They are adaptable and are coping despite the pressure. They have had to deal with the day-to-day practicalities of living in Moscow, their sons operations and other problems. In her letter the mother said the situation was a nightmare and could not describe it. I cannot describe to them enough how much they are in my heart. At Christmas I sent them all gifts and another letter. I will always be a friend to them.

I am still terribly upset, particularly over Georgiy Daurov. It saddens me to the depths of my soul...the pain is not gone.

I will support Azamat and his family in every way I can. All survivors must see that we care about them.

* The material published on this page represents the views and opinions of the author and may not reflect or agree with views of members of Hope for Beslan group. Hope for Beslan group members assume no responsibility for the views of the author.